These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters…
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
HERITAGE FOUNDATION: “How Modern Liberals Think”:
How Liberal Journalists Think:
Mark Steyn on Multiculturalism:
Sometimes laughter is the best medicine, especially in perilous times.
I couldn’t help but chuckle at this call to an American radio station:
To her credit, Donna did realize her mistake and discusses it in this follow-up:
Thank you, Donna, for brightening my day — and watch out for all those deer when you are driving!
HT: Tundra Tabloids
For Spunky and Gentle Giant:
This video is in honor of my male family members, who can`t seem to stop watching it and enjoying its comic relief:
Gentle Giant, 14, is walking down the hall. As he walks past Delightful, 4, she suddenly kicks him in the shins for no apparent reason.
Gentle Giant: Ow! Hey, that hurt! Delightful, you know we don’t kick people. That’s not nice.
Delightful: I wasn’t kicking you.
Gentle Giant looks at Delightful skeptically.
Delightful: I wasn’t! I was giving you a high five. On the leg. With my foot.